Thursday, December 27, 2007


We watched Mickey Mouse's Twice Upon a Christmas. A lot. Some of the time he was on his new Big Wheel. The other 592 times, I was bouncing him on my lap.
Vrooommm. As you may notice from the wardrobe changes (love the sweater vest), present opening was done in shifts.
He was so excited about his new ramp he couldn't wait for Opa to put it together! Thanks, guys!
I kid you not, my child nested all but one of these cups correctly. That kind of work is really a struggle for Little Man not only because of the skill it requires, but also because of the patience! Go Punkin!
Speaking of patience, his attention lasted through 1 and 1/2 cookies. Then Opa saved us both and took him on a walk!

Friday, December 21, 2007

change of heart

Last week, specifically Thursday, I was mad. Just plain mad and anxious and mad. We had no money. And none was going to be coming in. I was mad at myself for not having looked for a better paying job by now. I was mad at SSI for their ridiculous rules. And I was mad at Punkin's dad for being irresponsible and completely incapable of keeping a job. There was no money for rent. No money for groceries. No money for student loans. And certainly no money for Christmas presents. Fortunately, I felt I had Christmas under control because we had signed up for the Angel Tree at the Salvation Army. And I felt a glimmer of hope about SSI (our monthly payments were disappearing) because I had a meeting with them after I picked up his gifts. So I check in at Savation Army. An hour later I call my mom to come sit with me. Thirty minutes later I leave my mom to pick out the presents for me so I don't miss my SSI appointment. I am almost in tears at this point. I haven't felt that deflated in a long time. If I couldn't buy the presents at the store, I at least wanted to be able to pick them out from the tables at charity. But I did the best I could to suck it up and be thankful that at least there were presents to pick up and that my mom was available to do it for me. At the SSI office, it started off pretty bad. Within the first 5 minutes, I thought I was wasting my time. But, as it turns out, one last look at the computer screen prompted a question that changed everything. "Do you have two jobs?" Um, no. (Pampered Chef doesn't count.) In October, I was honest and reported some income from doing my church's newsletter. And even though I wrote very clearly in black ink that it was a one-time payment, it was being calculated into my income every month. The good news? They could fix it for January; this would help me squeeze out rent. And the payments should start steadily increasing from now on. The bad news: the adjustments for other months it was miscalculated would go into Punkin's dedicated account. This money can only be used to buy things that related directly to medical or educational needs. No matter how poor you are, they will not allow you to use it to pay rent. So I left relieved but still sad and frustrated. Oma and I went to the store while Punkin had respite. She had gotten some cute stuff at Salvation Army and we found chocolate covered pretzels at the store, so I was feeling a smidge better. On the way home I bought Wendy's for dinner, which I couldn't really afford. And just as I was sinking back down into my pity party, I opened my mailbox and found a gift from two angels. I will only say that our basic needs are being met this month. And I was able to pick up a few more fun things for Punkin to unwrap on Christmas. The Lord Provides. The past few days have basically been one big sigh of relief.

I am now very ready for Monday and Tuesday, especially after opening these boxes:
My camera is just not as fast as my toddler! All of these pictures are blurry.
Hhmmm. Packing peanuts.
The ONE still shot. Out of twenty. And it's pixalated because I was trying out Action Mode.
What was I thinking????
Do you know how long it took to clean this up???

By the way, everyone on Punkin's dad's side of the family has sent well-wishes, except--of course--his father. Sometimes I'm glad Punkin may never understand that situation. For all of you whose children do question the other parent's lack of support: I do not envy you.

More pictures after the big day! I cannot WAIT to see my sister and the rest of my extended family. My heart is aching for some family time.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

every day is closer to friday!

This is what we do aaalllll daayyy. But he's so darned sweet about asking! "Jump? Monna? Jump? Pease?" And even if I attempt to say no, he still crawls onto my lap, lays on his back, and waits for me to give in. He's gotten a haircut since these pictures were taken. He looks so grown up now! He was really good, too. We go to a place that is more expensive, but they let the kids sit in pretend cars and watch movies while they get their hair cut. Brilliant! I had to hold his hands, but otherwise no fussing!
"Da fighder!" I have no idea what he is saying or why, but every time he picks up a fork, spoon, long cardboard tube from wrapping paper, or even a straw, he holds it out and says, "Fighder!" My cousin, also FX, loves wooden spoons. So the fact that Punkin found this in Oma's kitchen and took to it right away really isn't surprising. In fact, I kind of like it because it reminds me of family. Sometimes I wish I knew what he was thinking, but then it occurred to me: If I knew what he was thinking all the time, would I still be so interested? If there was no mystery, would I be fascinated?

Monday, December 17, 2007

i so got my toddler to eat a salad

He's almost three. THREE. Not three months. Three years. This means he should stop waking up every 90 minutes. That being said, it is bedtime.
OH--Who watched Snoop? The second episode was definitely better than the first, though that may have been because of the man date with Beckham. The yoga session in the pilot cracked me up, too.
And The Girls? I wanted to give Holly a big hug when Hef was so clearly not listening to her about the gym renovations. I can't believe she kept her cool. I would have lost it. I mean, Hef was telling her to do the exact things she had just gotten done talking about. Shutup for a minute and listen!
Okay, now I'm really done. Right after I take another look at Punkin's hilarious expression in the above picture.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

also this morning, i purposely emptied an entire role of wrapping paper so he would leave me to wrap gifts in peace

Remember Santa? Santa is now without his book. Unfortunately for Santa and all of his eager listeners, the book contained the magic transit wires between pressing a button and hearing the story. And unfortunately for Punkin's mommy, when Punkin asked, "Monna? Sanna? Pease?"
I had to tell him--I didn't want to tell him for fear of the response ruining our otherwise calm morning-- I blurted it out rather calmly, "Santa is broken."
"Monna? Peease? More? Sanna?"
"Honey, it's broken. Santa broken. No Santa."
He discovers the misplaced book on the floor, wires hanging out one end. "Uh oh. Uh oh. Broden. Uh oh." Two minutes later it had turned into a whiney wimper, "Uhhh 0000hhh. Brooooodddeeennn." I need to find a really good hiding spot for this one, but since it is beyond repair, the hiding spot may end up being the garbage.
A good read on Fragile What?!. Focused on autism, but still applies a lot to Mr. Punkin.

Another good read on X Men.

Friday, December 14, 2007

" Nigh-Night Meh-Mo"
"Nan-nee? Some?" He found the M&Ms and how to reach them.
"Nan-nee? Nan-nee? Ya."
***Forgot to mention that we came home yesterday morning from school because Punkin threw up and had a temperature. Well, his teacher and I decided later that he threw up on purpose because he didn't like having the new associate in his room. And his temp, around 99, was probably due to being upset since it disappeared as soon as we got home. He's still gagging himself a lot. Three times yesterday when the respite worker was here and then a couple times for me today. I think he'll be doing it more at school now seeing as how he got out of class and got to watch Barney in the nurse's office with one of the teachers.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

we have a new role model

See the resemblance?? The guy is Dan Zane from the Disney Channel. Punkin and I love him cause he sings and plays guitar. (Photo courtesy of Festival Five Records.)

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

every day is a gift; that's why they call it the present

After work today, I went and picked up Punkin at his school. I walked in to find him standing on his cot, talking on a pretend phone. "Yeyo? Ya? Ya. Bye." He sees me, "Monna. Phone. My phone. Da phone." I suggest putting it away,"No, my work. Ya. Yes? Yeyo?" He hangs it up and puts it in the pretend kitchen. So we gather his stuff, which includes a fabulous paper plate cut in a swirly pattern with glitter on top. I'm hanging it in the bedroom for sure. Maybe the kitchen. Maybe.

So I'd like to complain some more about my shoulder. Cause my mom hasn't heard enough! The chiro says it's a tendon -- a common problem. It feels better when I leave the office and feels awful again approximately 5 minutes later after I deal with Punkin McPunkster.

Anyway, after I pick him up from school, we head over to his new school to hang out with his teacher. I dropped him off for about 20 minutes. He was fine at first. Gave me a funny look, but fine. About 12 minutes later, I went past the door and heard him screaming "Monna!" and trying to open the door. He sounded a teensy bit mad. Full meltdown mode. His teacher saw me through the window of the door and made sure I didn't come in. She wanted him to calm down first. They found me later, and he attatched himself to me like an industrial strength magnet. Turns out he got frustrated with a toy and lost it. All I thought was, "Well, at least he wasn't in trouble for hitting her!"

We then went to the Post Office, where a package has been waiting for about 4 days now. That, surprise surprise, was not a very happy experience. Too much waiting. Too many people. Too much mommy sore shoulder, which prevented her from holding him. Silly mommy.

Finally we arrived home to bond with The Incredibles. A short time later, it was time to brave socialization again at our church's advent supper and service. I almost turned the car around and drive home when he made himself vomit in the car, but I really wanted a church supper. (He makes himself throw up when he's stressed.) It was tacos, corn, and fruit cocktail. Not the vomit, the dinner. Pretty much a perfect menu. And the service was led by the middle schoolers, which was quite entertaining to Little Man at first. Much dancing took place on our pew. But after escaping the pew 3 times, reading Brown Bear Brown Bear to the congregation about 6 times, and taking his pants off, I decided I had given church my best effort and bowed out a little early. (I must say, though, that he took his pants off because he wanted to go potty--which he did.)

Feeling drained, sore, and slightly defeated, we walked outside hand in hand to find ourselves enveloped in the lightest, prettiest snowfall of the season thus far. I noticed it was snowing, but I didn't really see it until Punkin started spinning in slow circles and holding his hands out to catch the flakes. "Wow." And that's when a certain peace hit me. A much needed sense of okayness. It's also when I remembered the line from one of the children's songs, "Every day is a gift; that's why they call it the present." Kids are so darned smart sometimes.

I wanted to leave it on that happy note, but I just couldn't. Because in all fairness, every day is also sort of exhausting. But that's okay. Life isn't always rose colored. I just think we have to stop and listen when God is trying to ease the reality of hyper destructo stripper boy with gentle snowflakes.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

lots of stuff, no unifying theme

1. Punkin has been visiting his new classroom after school. He is being pretty good about it, but I have been there the whole time and he gets to do what he wants. So on Monday, I'm leaving the room!

2. Speaking of the new room, she has two toys we love. The first are big legos. Not so much for stacking, but for their tactile properties. He was so distracted rubbing his fingers and wrists across the tops of them, I don't think he could hear a thing I was saying. I'll try to take a picture of his face next time. So cute. And he loves her car ramp. "Weee!"

3. He was sitting on the floor. I was sitting on the couch. He had some blocks. He looked up and said, "Monna, play?" AHHHH! I died. THEN then he said "Bodda (Opa), downstairs?" Then he pooped on the carpet (see previous post).

4. His class has been making smoothies this week. All of the kids get to help put the fruit in the blender and press the buttons. He was SO excited today. The thing is, I'm not sure he even ate it because of the texture. But making it was such a thrill. I love that. I hope he never outgrows that childlike amazement.

5. I went to a junior high dance tonight to help my friends chaperone. I probably don't even need to say any more. There was the typical slow dancing with ample room for the Holy Spirit, as my mother would say. And they played a game where my teacher friends got wrapped together with toilet paper and had to shuffle across the room. Good times.

6. I don't know why this is a list.

7. We're a little stuck on the snow. Perseverating a bit. Snow comes out "nnnoooo." He wants to touch it, eat it, and stomp in every square foot. Walking 10 feet to the car is quite a journey.

8. No, he has not pooped on the carpet again. Or in the toilet. I just kept thinking, "I don't have a dog. So why is there poop on my floor?"

9. The Girl's Next Door season premier is SUNDAY. As in tomorrow. Followed by the fabulous Snoop Dogg. Who's watching it??? You better believe you will hear all about it on Monday, so it'd be best to just watch it with me so you have a reference point.

10. Today is a chill day. Tomorrow is a busy day. Today I am making speghetti for my friender for lunch. And then I am going shopping for tomorrow. I am hosting a table at my church's advent celebration for women. I'm making a trifle. It's a Pampered Chef recipe. I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully I remember to take pictures. If a picture of brownies shows up on my blog, you will know my ambitions were too lofty.

UPDATE: I missed it! Both of them! All that waiting, and I missed it! The Advent celebration lasted longer than expected. More later.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

uh...okay...maybe it's developmental?

Punkin just pulled his pants and diaper down around his ankles and pooped on the carpet.

Are you done laughing?

Not yet?

Maybe now?

K. Good enough. I mean, what do you do? I didn't know; I just froze, staring at the turd laying in my living room. Then I snapped out of it, thankfully, and said, "Let's go poop in the potty" in my best fake calm voice as I carried him to the toilet. He did go more, if you must know. And he did get a "nornge" (orange) sticker.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

love adjustable waist corduroys that are on sale! (no, not for me. although that is one cost-effective solution)

I was checking out and I found a shirt that says, "I'm with neurotypical." I also found one about fragile x, but it's not majorly awesome. I need to think of something clever. I do like the, "I'm not naughty, I'm autistic," but Punkin doesn't have that label. Plus, I'd like to raise awareness about FX more specifically. I should start that letter writing campaign to Oprah. And Ellen. I would love to meet Ellen. I can totally see myself acting a fool, dancing on her stage. Hilarious.

Sometimes I feel like we go days without having any major meltdowns. Other times I feel like we have been having a major meltdown for days. This leaves me feeling a bit drained intellectually. All I can think is, "Use your words. What do you want? Can you find the picture? No hitting. Gentle hands. Not a choice."

The hyperactivity is reaching a new level of "Omygoshwhatisgoingon?" Speaking of attention spans, I found another shirt on cafepress that I meant to tell you about but I forgot. It had a mommy duck and three baby ducks. Two of them were following the mommy and the last one was facing the opposite direction, chasing a butterfly. It would be better if I had pictures of these shirts, but I clicked out of the screen and now I am too lazy to go searching for them again. Back to the hyperactivity. I am learning to ignore the stares in public when he screams and takes off across the department store.

However, the unsolicited parenting advice is killing me. Partly because sometimes it's disguised as friendly baby talk. "Oh! Where are your shoes you silly boy? It's so cold. Tell your mommy, say, I need my shoes. Yes I do." Thank you. Thankyouverymuch. Cause it never occurred to me to put shoes on his feet. HIS SHOES ARE IN MY PURSE BECAUSE HE IS POST MELTDOWN BECAUSE I HAD TO TAKE HIM TO THE POST OFFICE EARLIER AND HE WAS HUNGRY AND TIRED BUT HE CAN'T TAKE A NAP BECAUSE HE FELL ASLEEP FOR 5 MINUTES IN THE CAR AND HE THREW HIS SHOE AT ME AND I AM JUST TRYING TO LEAVE THE STORE WITH MY HOT DOGS AND PINEAPPLE BECAUSE THAT IS ALL HE WILL EAT EVEN THOUGH I WOULD LOVE TO COOK SOME CHICKEN STIR FRY AND CAESAR SALAD INSTEAD.

Okay, I'm done now.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

pictures, cause i don't have much to say

Hehehehehe. I love when he crawls inside the bucket. Hehehehe....snort...hehehe. It will never get old. He hugged my mom today! Without being asked! Other FX mommies can probably relate to this story. Punkin gets so excited and shy that he can't look people in the eye to hug them, so he taps their chests with the tops of their heads. A headbutt. But today, he full-on wrapped his arms around Oma's neck, layed his head against her shoulder, and left my arms for hers. This was after the church directory fiasco. OH my GOSH. We had to have our picture taken for the directory. He wouldn't sit on my lap, so the photographer had me stand and hold him. But every time I stood up, adjusted our clothes, and smiled, he did a nose dive for the floor. This went on for at least 5 minutes. We were lucky to get two shots. I've since put a kitchen towel masquerading as a tree skirt around the base.
Punkin got this last year. He reads the entire "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." We're a little scared, but a lot mesmerized. He's afraid to touch him I think because his mouth opens and closes and his eyes blink. But he keeps asking me to play him, "Na-nain" (again).

Monday, November 26, 2007

people with no dental insurance should not break their teeth

Oops. So a couple weeks ago, I told my mom that the permanent retainer on the back of my bottom teeth felt like it was loose or broken. As the title relates, it was in fact not my retainer. It's my tooth. It split in half. It looks like the retainer just pulled the back of the tooth loose. That's broken tooth number two. I am one classy lady. Now, my work offers dental insurance that you pay like $30 for each month. But when I got hired three years ago, I had medicaid. I didn't understand that I could still sign up for dental -- that I could have two insurances. I tried asking the HR lady, but she is one of those people who talks well and listens poorly. So I didn't sign up. And then when Punkin was born, I thought I had another chance. Ya. If I wanted to hand over $400 for...well...I'm not sure what. So now I am going to call the University and see if I can get me some grad students to fix my teeth. Meanwhile I feel really lame and not attractive. Blech. But at least it doesn't hurt. Did I mention that I am petrified of the dentist? Last time I went, I was 6 months pregnant and had to have an emergency root canal. I sobbed the entire time.

Punkin's big news? He learned that he is not welcomed to take fish sticks off other kids' plates. Last night he ate 2 cheeseburgers, one order of french fries, about 3/4 cup of mandarin oranges, and a glass of milk. Is anyone surprised that he is trying to sneak other kids' food? And he may be discovering that there is more than one Ducky. You see, somehow Ducky managed to be (1) in the laundry, (2) in his bed with his Nuk, and (3) on the chair in the living room. Tricky Ducky.

Now my broken teeth and I will go enjoy some ice cream.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

mother of the year is officially off the table

Thanksgiving went really well. Except the whole waking up at 5am thing. He took a 45 minute nap at about 9am, but refused to sleep any more after that. So at 5:30 a.m. I started my baking frenzy. I ended up with one loaf of chocolate chip banana bread and two loaves of pumpkin bread. I wanted to make brownies, but I ran out of eggs. And then when I was done baking, I started cleaning out the closet and decorating for Christmas. Decorating for Christmas in a one bedroom apartment with a toddler and on a "it has to be free" budget means window clings and a 2 foot tree with only the unbreakable ornaments. But it has lights!

So on Friday we went out to eat with Aunt Emily (Men-na-nee), her friend, Oma, and Opa. At the end of the meal, Punkin was running around the empty room and climbing in and out of the booths. I signed my credit card slip, looked up, and saw him pulling a beer bottle away from his mouth (as in it was in his mouth just moments previous) and setting it on the table. EWWW. The bigger issue for me than the obvious alcohol consumption (because I'm pretty sure he spit it out) was the germs from some random dude that were stuck to that bottle. Gross. Good job watching your kid, Mom.

Then on Saturday, I noticed he had a scratch on his kneck and decided to clip his fingernails. Long story short, I ended up almost cutting a chunk of his thumb off. It bled for FOREVER. He cried, understandably, forever. And of course he will not tolerate any bandaids or tape at all. I even wrapped tape around the bandaid on his thumb and strung it down around his wrist. He still got it off.

So that's why I'm Mother of the Year. Go me!

(Seriously, I know all moms make mistakes. I am not trying to be hard on myself.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

i have a confession to make

As many of you know, I am an E! junkie. LOVE it. In this order:

1. The Girls Next Door
2. Keeping Up with the Kardashians
3. Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane
(Okay, 2 and 3 are tied)
4. Any sort of countdown (ie: Hottest Hollywood Scandals)
5. The Soup
6. (Sometimes) True Hollywood Story

I do not enjoy Sunset Tan. I will only watch it if you pay me.

And now, soon to be added to the blush-worthy list: Snoop Dogg's Father Hood. Seriously, I WILL watch this. Someone else needs to decide to watch it, too, so that we can discuss. It's like I am magnetically drawn to train wrecks. Snoop Dogg. My sister is practically peeing her pants laughing at me right now. And when she's composed herself, she will roll her eyes, dial my number, and ask, "Erika Lynn, what is wrong with you?"

This post is taking forever because, once again, I am distracted by E! Kimora's team is trying to Feng Shui her flagship store in NY for the launch of her Hello Kitty jewelry line for Baby Phat. And just in case you were wondering, the $5.95 ring your daughter is wearing is NOT part of the collection. They showed a watch that retails for $5,000. But James pulled it off on time, under budget, and harmonized. Phew. Almost as stressful as that time Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse had to rescue Daisy and Minnie from being carried away by balloon bouquets.

Wednesday is the new Friday this week! HooRAY! Happy Turkey Day!

I am not one for standing around the table and announcing the things for which I am thankful. That being said, I feel compelled to give you my list:

1. A large family that lets me be me, even when I screw up or am just screwy, that has nurtured my faith from birth. (And Punkin, but we will get to that shortly.)
2. Friends and bloggers. Even the ones who run off to New Zealand. The ones who keep me grounded, who encourage me, and love me all the time.
3. A rolling laundry hamper that I got when I graduated high school. I can hang my purse from the handle, balance a laundry basket on top, and still have one hand free to unlock the door and pull on Punkin's coat before he takes off into the parking lot.
4. Ibuprofen. This muscle pain is killing me.
5. Knit pants with stretch. The ice cream and cheesy popcorn are killing my figure.
6. Wireless internet, cable, and no-questions-asked returns.
7. E!
8. Health leave. Lots and lots of health leave that I can take by the hour. I have used over 30 hours, and I still have 100 left. Very helpful this past month.
9. Did I say my family? The mom who babysat all day Saturday while I was barfing and then did my PC show on Sunday so I wouldn't lose the booking. And my dad who calls while it's slow at work to see how it's going or to tell me he saw a car I would like. Or the sister who will want to make it a slumber party Thursday night and sleep on my pull-out sofa with me in the living room.
10. Punkin. My life is filled with more wonder and laughter and purpose than I ever imagined possible. I know I've said this before, but I will say it again: I love him so much it hurts to even look at him sometimes. I just never knew my heart was capable of that kind of bigness. So mostly I am thankful to God for blessing my life beyond understanding. And for giving me a sense of humor. Because life with Punkin demands that!

Monday, November 19, 2007

*pats self on back*

Blogging from Punkin's chair. It's the black and white chair that he has claimed for his own and which I am only allowed to sit in when he is asleep. I suppose, though, that doesn't really mean I'm allowed. It just means I'm sitting there and he isn't around to tell me, "No. Off." But I digress. The point: no wires! And more importantly than the no wires--I DID IT MYSELF. I got the new modem. I hooked up the cable splitter thingy and installed the router, which was no easy task letmetellyou. Because I have the oh-so-everly-delightful Windows Vista. It really is just like the commercials with the Mac Guy and the PC Guy. I couldn't use the easy start-up, installs it for you in 5 minutes or less, cd. I had to trudge through the user's manual filled with acronyms and computer terms and "If this big computer word, then this acronym. But be careful, because, 'If this acronym, then this big computer term, then you and your machine will self-destruct.'" Oi. But if I wanted to, I could watch Grey's Anatomy reruns online in MY BED. Sooooooooooo worth it.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

you've got to be kidding me

I don't know if I'm clueless or if I just had the biggest misunderstanding EVER with the internet salesperson, but I am not yet wireless. Not in my definition, anyway. See, in this company's definition, wireless means that there are no wires going from their building to your my house. Which is so helpful to me. Because I care so much about one more wire coming into my apartment. Ya. NOT HELPFUL TO ME! So now I am online, but only because the ethernet cord is properly positioned for the moment. Ooops. Now it's not. Oh, wait, now it is. Plus, I have to have this modem they sent me perched in the middle of the window ledge in my living room just above the couch. You know, Punkin's second favorite place to climb and pick things up and chuck them across the room. And the signal isn't even that strong. So this little modem is going back to its warehouse tomorrow and I am getting my cable internet back so that it can be hidden under the desk. And my dad found a router that was $40. Not the biggest range ever, but my apartment isn't that big, so it's cool. Is there an easier way to do this???

In other news, I am sick. Again. This time with a stomach bug. Jury's still out on whether Punkin's picked it up.

The doc switched me to Cymbalta since my body is apparently not tolerating the Effexor. The good news is that I can just switch from one to the other. Whoo-hoo!

It is way too late, and my belly needs me to curl up in the fetal position now. Later gators.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

did not fall off the face of the earth, just off the face of the internet

Punkin broke the internet port on my laptop. So now I can't get online unless I have wireless service. Cause it costs like $500 to fix the computer. Not gonna happen. So I ordered wireless, which hasn't arrived yet, and actually am saving myself about $20 a month. So Punkin had the right idea--I needed to switch providers--just the wrong method of communicating.

So I am at Panera (did you recover from the shock, yet?) getting my first extended internet fix in a few days.

Having pain again. And my hands are falling asleep whenever I try to use them to, you know, hold something. So not THAT often.... Oma can relate. We are both the sleepy hand ladies. Went to the chiro yesterday. Called my general doc today. I'll keep you posted (ha! it's a blog! you post on it! i'll keep you posted!) because I know my medical problems make for riveting reading material.

Had the big transition meeting, which went really well. Everyone was super nice and very interested in discussing the quirky wonderful nature of my favorite little boy. I'm very glad I chose to have him the special ed class. Phew.

Gotta go. Must potty! Write more when I am connected again!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

rookie mistake

I was baking for a church bake sale.....I left them on the table......

I was getting the chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, and I thought, "I have to get the cookies off the table." It was WAY too late.
He smashed one and ate the rest. Oops. At least I know they taste good to somebody!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

monna, nigh-night!

So sleepy today. Little Man was cr-A-bb-y this afternoon when I picked him up from preschool. I did wake him up from his nap, so maybe I deserved it a little. Poor guy fell asleep during storytime! His teacher had to carry him to the other classroom where the kids who stay for the after school program sleep.

I am back to taking my regular dose of meds. It was tricky because I had to skip a day or so altogether in order to balance myself back out. The first time I didn't wait long enough, and I ended up hurting again. But now I think things are OK. Because as scary as it is to take too much, it is just as scary to not have enough. Because I don't care what anybody says--your body gets addicted to them. And withdrawl is no fun.

I'm watching a marathon of Project Runway Season 2, and I have to say that I do not like Chloe's collection. Santino said it was like a couch coming at you. And maybe it's just because I can't stand that shiny prom dress material, but I totally agree. And they always say she is the female body-conscious designer. But that material doesn't look good on anybody! It shows every flaw and creates flaws that aren't there. Blech. Shiny poofy couch!

I just wanted to clarify from my last post that the cat scan really was the most relaxing thing I've done in weeks. I was forced to lay completely still with my eyes closed as the bed gently rocked me back and forth. The only hard part was laying directly on my bruised cranium. Speaking of craniums, we are learning about our skeletons at preschool. Way funny to hear kids say fibula. And speaking of preschool, we found mouse droppings in our room this morning! Eww.

Punkin has starting saying more combinations of words. He has also started hitting me ALL THE TIME. Most of what he is saying is imitating me. For instance, he'll turn his sippy cup upside-down and bang it on the table until it drips. Then he'll say, "No. Spill. Drink!" and drink from the cup. Or he'll throw his ducky and say, "Throw! Nice!" Did I mention he is also hitting me all the time??? Doesn't want his diaper changed. Doesn't want to wear his coat. Doesn't want to turn the movie off to eat dinner. Doesn't want me to hold his precious Chicka Chicka Boom Boom or Brown Bear book. Ohmygosh his teacher gave me a picture today of him "reading" Brown Bear to another student. "Bown Bown Bown Bear Wa You Seeee? Mana Mana Mana Mana wa you see? Bird. Duck. Dog. Woof!" We were walking back from putting the garbage in the dumpster and I suggested we go read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. He said, "Yes, peas! Boom." Such manners. His momma must be proud. I don't know why, but I went from "mom" to "monna." Seems like a step backwards, but whatever. It's amazing how the crabiness can be forgiven in an instant when he looks at me and says, "Monna. Nigh-night!" and scurries off to bed. And when he gets up 20 minutes later (as he does every night) to ask for "wa-er" he looks so much like a little boy and not a toddler drinking from a plastic cup. Just melts my heart. Makes me wonder how the time passes so quickly and what new emotions I will be thinking a year from now.

The big transition meeting is coming up. Then it will be IEP time. Our first IEP. Very monumental. Of course, 18 IEPs from now, it may not seem like such a big deal. I was thinking earlier today about seeing people with disabilities first as people and not just a label. But noe I am too sleepy. Besides, we've had so many positive experiences that I can't get myself fired-up enough to do it justice. Maybe someone else could go there for me? OK. Nigh-night!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

did you get my text message?

So I am having a few issues this week. Oh, but before I get into that, let me just tell you that the D on my keyboard requires an astronomical amount of force in order to produce a D. So if I am missing a D anywhere in this post, please don't point it out. I may have to get mad then. CAUSE MY D IS BUSTED!

So turns out that the muscle pain I complained about earlier in the week is in fact NOT Punkin's fault. So I'd just like to make a formal apology to him for that. The pain actually got so bad on Thursday afternoon/night that I was crying making dinner and driving home. I almost couldn't walk because the bottoms of my feet and my calves were tight and tender and sore. It felt like all of my muscles were in big knots all over my body. I had to use two hands to shift my car, which took multiple attempts to start because I couldn't turn the key far enough.

Friday morning started out much better. Still painful, but not immobilizing. By the afternoon it was in full force again. And my tongue was swollen. So my mom and I enjoyed the graces of the emergency room during my respite hours Friday night.

I mentioned to them repeatedly that my doctor had doubled my dose of anti-depressant a little over a week before. I also told them about the sinus infection and the fever. And my mom made me tell them that I fainted.

So three vials of blood and one CT scan later, they know nothing. They assume it is a virus unless one last test (which takes 24 hours) comes back showing something about my muscles being metabolized too quickly or something I don't know. So I feel silly going in about a (probably) virus, but frustrated because there's nothing I can do. The doctor says muscle pain is not a side effect of my meds. So I go home and go to sleep.

Saturday I am feeling much better and continue to feel better all day. I drink a little too much and sleep at my mom and dad's. (More on that later.) Sunday morning I realize I haven't taken my meds in two days. So I take them. By early Sunday afternoon the pain and hot flashes and yucky tummy are back. Along with a slightly too-big tongue. I call the pharmacist. He thinks I'm overdosing on meds. Which is what pretty much everyone except the doctors thought. So hundreds of dollars and one really cool and extremely relaxing CT scan later, it's still really hard to type, but I think I know why.

So back to Saturday -- Saturday night Oma and Opa had a fire in their fire pit and we invited some frienders over. A certain friend just entered 2007 by adding text messaging to his cell phone plan. Let me just say that at one point there were 5 phones out, all texting each other ingenious little messages across the fire. (You rock my world, too, Lola.) It was beyond ridiculous. The only thing more ridiculous was when I grabbed a martini glass half as big as Punkin and drank my oh so tasty Mountain Dew and raspberry vodka out of it. (I know, eww. The Tall Guy always has really good ideas like that for me. Funny how he didn't make one for himself.) I was really just trying to be silly. Cause why would you even MAKE a glass that big? I got it from this girl.....and.......searching for something nice to say............she had a beautiful leather couch in her dorm room. She was from Texas, so I always thought it was sort of cliche that the Texas girl gave me a giant martini glass. All in all, the evening was legendary.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


As I tried to put the costume on: No. No. No. After I got the costume on: All done. Ehhhh!
Once he realized he was getting candy, he was much more agreeable. He even said, "Thanks. Bye-bye."
Once we got back to Oma's, he decided to raid her stash.
Happy Halloween!

getting back to normal

The Plague struck our apartment. Punkin was not ready to go back to school until today. His illness struck Thursday night. I tried to send him Monday, but they called me to come get him. I was kinda glad, because by the time we got home, I wasn't feeling so hot myself. By Monday night I was curled up in the fetal position watching Punkin make a huge mess all over the living room while we enjoyed (or he enjoyed) Mickey Mouse's Once Upon a Christmas for the 37th time. Tuesday morning a little before 5am, I think, I got up and went potty. Then I grabbed some ibuprofen out of the medicine cabinet. And then I woke up on the floor, in the dark, with a really bad headache. Apparently I fainted and bonked my head on either the floor or the edge of the bathtub. I called my parents, hysterical, and then quickly realized that I did not need them to come over after all, I just needed to go back to sleep. But since Punkin had overtaken my bed by that point, I grabbed some blankets and slept on the floor. I was not about to move him. My body was aching from being sick as well as from lifting and "bouncing" him for the previous 4 days.

That's his new fix. He does the sign for sit and says what sounds like dance, but what he means is bounce. He lays on my lap with his head hanging upside down by my knees while I bounce my legs. Before we only did it at church or when he got really upset because he couldn't run around somewhere. Now we have to do it 24/7 at home. While we watch "Mi-Mouse" over and over and over and over and over again. So yesterday was rough. Punkin was starting to feel better. I was still feeling immobilized from my fever. I kept asking, "How about Nemo?"
"NO! Mi-Mouse!"
"Or Woody. We could watch Woody?"
"No. No. No. Mi-Mouse!"
He did choose The Incredibles a couple times, but for the most part we've just been wearing holes in the Mickey dvd.

I got a burst of energy right before trick or treating and decided I was not about to waste the $16.92 I had spent on an Elmo costume. Someone was going to see it and give my child candy as a reward for putting up with his mother's ridiculous and irrational wardrobe demands. (Pictures to come later--they are on Oma's camera.) So we went out to about 3 houses in Oma's neighborhood and then I decided I was going to die. (Oma is still rolling her eyes at my dramatic response to being sick.) Thank goodness I had respite from 6:30 to 8:30pm so someone else could put him to bed! Now Punkin is at school, and I am home resting. I think I will go take the longest shower ever now.

Oh--And I did go to the doctor. I just fainted because I too have a sinus infection. Punkin and I are so alike! Isn't that sweet? We're both taking yucky Augmentin, too. Blech.

I seriously can't wait to show you the Elmo pictures. Good stuff.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

punkin was at oma's and i can prove it (Oma speaks again)

I don't know how he got the box of "O's" off the counter, but as you can see, he thoroughly enjoyed them.
He enjoyed some on the couch....
and on the stairs....
and on the couch again.
And then the top of the coffee table had to be completely empty. And he had to look at every DVD in the stand, tossing each one on the floor until he chose the one he wanted to watch.
Need I say more?

Saturday, October 27, 2007

just a little sunday giggle

Poor Punkin is sick with a nasty sinus infection. They gave him Augmentin, which always does a number on my tummy, so I imagine it isn't being nice to his, either. Once he fell asleep, I found this on a popular radio station's website:

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

the box

Punkin: Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box.
Me: Can I help you?
Punkin: No, mine! Box. Box. Box. Hi! Box. Box. Box.
Maintence guy: Hi. He sure is getting big.
Punkin: Box. Box. Box. Box. Bye! Box. Box.
Me: It's a present. For Punkin.
Punkin: Pesent. Box. Dis is. Ya. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box. Box.
Me:Let's go in.
Punkin: Ya. Middy Mouse!
Me: What's in the box? Let's see.
Punkin: Mouse! NO! (slaps himself in the face repeatedly)
Me: Heavens. Oi.

There was a UPS sticker on the door, and I wasn't expecting anything. Turns out it was for Punkin! We walked to the office to pick it up, and he somehow knew it was for him. He grabbed it from the lady right away and carried it the entire way back to the apartment. As soon as we reached the apartment, however, he lost most of his interest in the beloved box and glued his eyes --yet again-- to Mickey Mouse's Once Upon a Christmas. So I opened it and gushed over the adorable Carhart hoodie all by myself. So cute! Good job Godparents!

Had picture day today. I guess he cried up until it was his turn, at which point he waltzed to his place, turned up the cheese volume, and refused to make eye contact with the camera.

Nothing else noteworthy happened today, unless you count not having respite again. Guess I will have to truck Little Man with me to the laundromat. Who knows when, though. Tomorrow afternoon I am meeting with my bosses and his teacher to talk about transitioning him to his new room. Thursday the early childhood intervention teacher and speech pathologist are coming. And Friday is Friday. Friday is not, under any circumstance, laundry day.

Monday, October 22, 2007

fun in the sun

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee. Lion's boyfriend was pushing him. He and Punkin totally hit it off.
Punkin always breaks sticks and then tries to put them back together. It cracks me up every time.
No idea what this is about. Like how well I comb his hair?
Nope, not posing for a cute picture. He's pooping.
The "I Just Pooped" face. Then he shudders head to toe.

Speaking of pooping, which I NEVER do on this blog..... Not only did he poop in the potty today, he went pee in a PUBLIC TOILET! So brilliant.

Got my new glasses today. I will post a picture on a day when I have my hair and makeup done!

Went to the ENT and the AEA for a hearing test. Ears are great, much to my surprise (and glee).

Sunday, October 21, 2007

bordering on too much fun

Pretty bridesmaids. They were my roomies in college. Best roomies EVER. Lion. So mod 70's.
Boo. So mod 50's.
The Other Lion and Lion. Or Lion and The Other Lion. So mod blurry.

The wedding was gorgeous. Everything went so smoothly. The reception was a blast. I feel like too many emotions are running through my mind and too many things are waiting to be said for me to possibly be able to communicate all of the wonderful memories. THANK YOU OMA!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Oma Speaking

Erika is at her friend's wedding, so I thought I would fill you in on the little man's adventures. The first night I was awakened to screams (his nuk and ducky were lost) at 3:4 5 . But after 1/2 hour of cuddling and rocking, he went back to sleep. I took awhile to reach that state because Opa was snoring. The cuddling made up for the rude awakening, since he never cuddles with me.

He didn't like my supper, but Opa saved the day by making a hot dog for him. He went to bed on his own (yeah!) but woke at 12:20 saying "Up?" Again more cuddling (yeah!) and nothing until 6:30 this morning.

I don't know what today has in store for us, maybe a visit to the park. Have a great Saturday.


Wednesday, October 17, 2007


You sneaky little over-achievers. (I am going to see a bunch of college friends tomorrow. TOMORROW! As in after I wake up in the morning!) Anyway, they are sneaky because they're profiled on Cornell's website looking all cute and sounding all smart and successful. Never even mentioned it. =)

I gotta go. Need to switch the laundry, get the oil changed, eat dinner with Oma and Opa, pick up the laundry, pack for Punkin (staying with Oma & Opa God bless their hearts), and pack for me. Then tomorrow............oi!

Friday, October 12, 2007

rather be playing sand volleyball

"We're outnumbered by more than 10 to 1!" I think of this line from a Veggie Tales movie every time he dumps the entire bucket of toys into the bathtub. Those toys are so fun, though. They're foam, so they stick to the side of the tub. And naked babies. =)
Way cute new PJs from Oma. He was crying because he wanted a Cars jacket, which Oma also bought. =) Not spoiled.
So after the bath and the new jammies he decides, "Ya. I'll take dinner now." ARGH!

But that was a few nights ago. Tonight he is in his room knocking on the door and talking to himself. We stayed home sick today with the plague. It kinda feels like I smoked an entire carton of cigarettes. So I figured Punkin was feeling yucky, too, and gave him some "medsin" to help him take a nap. WRONG. He obviously had an adverse reaction and was up, running back and forth from the bedroom to the living room and jabbering a million miles a minute, until I finally held him really tightly and rocked him to sleep. And in case you were wondering, yes--napping with your kiddo in the recliner TOTALLY makes up for how CRAZY he made you earlier in the day.

The shoes I ordered did not fit. Couldn't even get them on my feet! I think since the wedding I need them for is so close, I will just buy some cheap ones for now and spend more money on quality shoes when I'm not in a rush. I considered posting a picture of my feet, but they're not very pretty. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Punkin is in big trouble. He is obsessed with strings and cords. And he yanked the internet cord out of my laptop today. And now it won't click into the port. Big trouble.

My friend had something on his blog about the dioxins in certain plastics being harmful ... oh here's the link. Anyway, it got me thinking about how I want to order a new Keeper. Used to have one in college. Loved it. It's a girly thing, so I suggest that you click with caution.

OOOOOOOOOOOO. Monk is on. Love that show. Does anyone know what happened to The Girls? And Project Runway should be starting soon! Makes that enormous cable bill a little more tolerable.

Now for the venting portion of the post. I HAVE NO RESPITE!!! The wonderful girl. The Chuckee Cheese Girl. Yah. SHE'S GONE. She decided that passing her boards to be a registered nurse was more important than ............ uh Snoop Dog is on Monk ...... taking my guy out for burgers so I could go to volleyball. And they just let her dump her shifts without anyone to cover them! So no respite Tuesday during my eye doctor appointment. No respite tonight, which is okay because of the whole plague thing. But still.......It's Snoop. SNOOP Doggy DOOOOOG. Okay now I am too distracted. How did I forget to buy ice cream at the store today? I get to see all my BFFs on Thursday! Eeek.

Monday, October 8, 2007

drying costs went up a quarter, now i never know how much money i need for laundry

Went shoe shopping online. Ordered two pairs. I think. Now I will see if any of them fit! One pair is a pretty typical black pump but it has a skinny heel and a little wrap detail on the toe. The other is a heeled mary jane style. That's more of what I was originally thinking, but they cost two times as much. I think I'll just go with whatever fits. My feet are shaped like boxes. They are beyond wide. Seriously. So I won't be surprised if I'm sending them both back in a few days. I HATE shoe shopping. Love shoes. Know what I want. Can't find it for my boxy feet. Large boxy feet. But the nice thing about the websites is that I can sort before I search. And no obnoxious salespeople bringing me things that WON'T WORK I TOLD YOU WIDE WIDTH "just in case" because "this brand runs big." Whateva.

Did you see how adorable my Punkin is???? Can you STAND it? He was playign peek-a-boo. Or pee-boo. Instead of using his spoon to eat his rice today, he was using his cup to scoop it up and "drink" it. I was so excited that he was eating the rice, I didn't even say anything. I did snap some photos, of course, but none of them were really good enough to share.

Didn't win at Bunko, but I did drink some yummy punch. MMMM. Punch. Punkin's respite worker said she's never seen a little kid so good about cleaning up his toys. What a good boy!

Tomorrow is eye appointement day!