Saturday, May 5, 2007

i threw away the chocolate bunny--it looked old

i don't want you to come visit and say cute little cliche phrases to my son and take pictures of him to show off to your friends so you can pretend you're a dad for a day and invade our space. you don't deserve it. you do not have an inherent right to anything just because of biology. you are not a father. i change his diapers and sing "itsy bitsy spider" over and over again so he'll lay still and i let him barf all over me when he's sick and i wipe his tears and hold him in the middle of the night when he's had a bad dream and i wake up at 5:30 even when i'm too tired to make him eggs and french toast and i arrange for his schooling and for babysitters if i could ever afford one and i wash his dishes and pick up his toys and teach him sign language and how to dress himself and brush his teeth and fight with his school to make sure they're meeting his needs and I AM HERE. I am Present in his life and I do Real Mom Things. so when you send an easter package 3 and 1/2 weeks after easter and e-mail saying that you want to arrange something about taking professional pictures and coming to visit and in the back of your mind are assuming you will be taking him out on your own during said visit (i know this from your mother) I Want To Tell You to forget about us.


Jennie said...

YEAH! Eff you, "father". E-bear, DO NOT let him take pictures, DO NOT let him see him alone. You should seriously move out here. Although the schools are crap compared to Iowa. But I would babysit, and Radar loves to kiss tears and snot.

cws said...

I found your blog in a search engine. I can totally relate to how you feel. I was once a single mom to an infant FX child whose father was a complete reject. My son is now 11 and his father finally gave his rights up last year. His parents disowned him. :)

Good luck. You sound like an incredibly strong woman. Your son is so lucky to have you as a mom!