Friday, August 10, 2007

it's like shredded wheat on my feet and why i am going to sue paris herself

Exhibit A: The face of a monster. This eight-legged creature was lying in wait at the bottom of the baby pool at my grandparent's complex. I tried to be brave and use Punkin's water shoe to scoop him up, but every time I got close I flipped out and the spider--dead though he was--jumped five feet away. Finally my cousin grabbed a net from the lifeguard and rescued us all from his dead claws...err....spindly legs. Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck. Looks like a big hairball. My two biggest gross outs--spider legs and hairballs.

Exhibit B: The face of joy. Lots of swimming at the resort pool. Punkin loved the steps. "Sit." The resort was beautiful. The rooms were huge. I got one all to myself with Punkin. So spoiled.
Exhibit C: The face of "chill mode." My Aunt and Uncle have since given us the COOLEST present ever--a portable individual dvd player. Now we don't have to use my $1,000 computer to watch Elmo. Doesn't he look like an old man??? I love the belly.
Exhibit D: The face of FUN! Target had a Spiderman set--water swimmies, a ball, a boogie board, and goggles.
Exhibit E: The face of friendship and family. We have had the best time with all of my relatives. We are finally all together eating pizza, hot dogs, and italian beef. My b-day was the best. We went down to the resort restaurant and had cocktails, then went up to the atrium area and ate Portillos Italian Beef. Then we had YUM-EEE birthday cake and opened presents. I am blessed beyond words. I get to go buy a whole new wardrobe.

AND, I had a revelation. My cousin works at Nordstroms and was telling us all about the training they go through there to learn how to fit people for bras. Mine didn't fit correctly, so I decided to give it a try. I was very off. I was wearing a 34B. Apparently I am a 32 C. Oops. I am so much happier now that things fit the way they are supposed to and the girls are in the place God intended.

Oh, and the title--My cousins had pedicures. Apparently they didn't go as well as hoped. My one cousin had her feet soaking for an hour and then the lady didn't scrape all of the crusty stuff off. So now it feels like shredded wheat stuck on her feet.

And I will be suing Paris (as in Hilton) because I was in the shower at our Hilton resort when I closed the complementary shampoo and it squirted in my right eye. It burned. For two days.

And now I have wine and vodka cranberries waiting for me. Night y'all.


Kristiem10 said...

I love it! Great post. I am afraid to see what my actual (tiny) bra size would be if I were properly fitted.

I want wine and vodka cranberries.

w-huff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
w-huff said...

The cranberries sound perfect! I got fitted for the first time a few weeks ago. It was one of the darker days of my life. I was pleased to find I was two sizes smaller around than I'd been wearing, but my cup size went up. I am actually a DD. I know there are women that pay to join the doubles, but they are crazy! I am hoping to lose my current size very soon! I wonder if there are exercises for that?

Aunt Patty said...

Oh how I miss you both. I miss everyone for that matter. What a fun time we all had, although I think it will be some time before I eat pizza again!!!