Thursday, August 30, 2007
My cousin told me today that she had a SCORPION in her apartment at college. Here I'm all freaked out about a dead spider in a pool over vacation and she has a SCORPION. But it reminded me of this kiddo I used to work with who was in love with all things nature related. But he also couldn't walk. So if he got out of his chair, he saw the ground. Makes sense that he liked bugs and snakes. Anyway, he was especially in love with scorpions. He and his friends were going to start a band called The Scorpion Kings and get matching tattoos. The tattoos would have to wait about 10 years, but no big deal. So one day we're in the nurse's office to get his meds and he tells the nurse he's going to get a tattoo--when he turns 18--and have my name written underneath it. Not my first name, my last name--Miss ______, cause that's what he called me.
So a polar bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a gin ....... and .......... tonic."
The bartender says, "Okay, but what's with the big pause?"
The polar bear holds up his paws, "I don't know, I was just born with 'em, I guess."
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
In other news, I saw The Biggest Creepy-Crawliest Spider Ever in our PK room today. Good thing Katie was there to smoosh him.
Also, 49 days until I see Boo, Lion, Dorok, and Birkel for The Big Day when someone who shall remain anyonymous will no longer be a Birkel. EEEKKK!
AND, I am definitely doing the church newsletter thing again. Good times. ("Good Times, Great Oldies, Kool 101.3!" I can't help it. It's a disEASE! Always have to tie it back to a commercial.)
Gonna hafta get the ice cream now.
MMMM. Moose Tracks. Mini Peanut Butter Cups. Chocolate swirls. Right out of the carton with an oversized spoon cause I'm a lady and that's how we ladies operate.
Guess what I'm watching, Jennie. Lemmie give ya a hint: Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH. In the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups.... Don't know? Should I call you and sing it to you? Maybe that will help you remember. Definitely should sing it to you.
The ice cream is gone. (pouts)
Am I actually talking about anything? I won't be winning any literary awards tonight, that's for sure.
OOOHH--I learned a new word playing Crickler. Pecuniary. Having to do with money. I guess a little computer time can make you smarter.
And, get this. Little Man said, "I want you, Mom" loud and clear. AAAAHHHHHHH! Of course today he said, "Doo too too, Mom."
He looks so sweet when he's sleeping.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
So Saturday I had decided that, yes, I do want him in the smaller, self-contained room with integrated time at recess and for large group. Large group is where they sit at the table and paint, cut, color, make yummy treats, ect. That way he can see how the other kids attend to a task, and he can get some exposure to a bigger, busier classroom setting, but with a lot of structure and for a workable amount of time. Then by the time he's four (or sooner if appropriate) he can be do full inclusion.
But I still keep thinking to myself that maybe I'm just being overprotective. Maybe I am underestimating Punkin's ability to adapt. Maybe I'm just scared of change. He's been with all typical kids until now. Maybe he should continue. But the expectations for infants and twos are remarkably different than the 3-5s. And again the shear number of children is overwhelming. AHHH! Here I go again.......
In other news: Accepting Applications. Inquire Within. I've decided that I need a wingman or wingwoman. A wingperson. Someone that I can look at with an exhausted face and say, "It's SO your turn to put him back in bed! I've had enough!" Do you think I'm tired today? =)
I played Wii on Friday night. So fun. I was totally boxing with my friend Laura. Not that I even know how to throw a punch, but whatever. We had a good bout. She eventually won. Then we did bowling. Just as fun as the real thing but without the ugly, slippery shoes and germs.
I was reading Kristie's blog about Blake and his Woody doll when I realized I never told everyone about the cool Uncle Bill story. So when we were on vacation in Chicago, we went to visit my Great Uncle Bill in the nursing home. He is 81 and has fragile x. He is quite healthy and active. He plays records for the other patients and was even deemed their mayor. He was one of two people I saw who shut and locked the door to his room. He told me once that he didn't want people stealing his M&Ms. He and Punkin like each other a lot. They repeat phrases back and forth. Uncle Bill likes the "That's mine. That's all mine." game. Punkin understands and appreciates. It made me a little uneasy at Christmas time when I was little because I thought he was serious. Anyway, were about to leave and he turned around and grabbed a mini Woody doll out of his dresser drawer for Punkin--who was beyond thrilled. "Woody! Woody!" But Uncle Bill had never been told that Punkin liked Woody. He just remembered that he had a toy and wanted to share. And it just happened to be Punkin's favorite! (God works in all things for the good of those who love Him....)
Now it's time to clean the apartment. Little Man is asleep so I can clean up his mess from lunch. This time it was an accident, though. He was being a good boy and trying to take his plate to the sink and spilled it.
OOOHHHH--Almost forgot! He has been asking to go potty more and more often--and he goes! Very exciting. I will spare you any more potty talk.
Q: What's green and has three wheels?
A: Grass. I was just kidding about the three wheels.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I am afraid to type because every time I do, he gets out of bed! It is too late for little Punkin's to be getting out of their beds. Some nights he puts himself to bed and other nights the mattress is like a giant spring that just keeps shooting him back into the living room.
Nothing else is new. I am wearing one of my new shirts, which is a little more revealing than I originally thought. Whoo-hoo! Actually not so much "whoo-hoo" and a little more "oh my." It's easy to be accidentally immodest when Little Man is so rambunctious.
And now, an elephant joke:
Q: Why are elephants big, gray, and wrinkly?
A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth, they would be aspirin!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
My mom talked me into going to an LWML picnic tonight. Even though it is 125 degrees outside with 93 percent humidity (or something). I even brought our "dish to pass." Okay, I bought some noodle salad at the grocery store and put some cheese slices on a platter with some crackers. Did I mention it was HOT today? So we went to this little park. Punkin attacked the slide right away. Then came the disaster that was dinner. Let's just say MY pants are now sitting with detergent on them, and he went home shirtless. Speghetti sauce everywhere. He turned his lemonade cup upside down and shook it all over both of us. I think that was the real low point. Did I mention it was a little WARM outside during this fiasco? Oh, and I never told you about the gross-out diaper I had to change in the sweltering HEAT. We went home early.
Today was "cry and hit myself in the head whenever anybody requests anything of me" day. I HATE that day. It's a little annoying. Walking, dressing, undressing, waiting, sitting, standing, sitting on the potty--I'm just too demanding! Today was also, "make mommy tear up" day. Cause not only did he teach me to say please, but he spontaneously said, "bye mom!" when I dropped him off at school. Two words together is big. Two understandable words is bigger. Two words where one of them is mom just makes me melt.
On a completely different note, I need to speak out for pregnant women everywhere and say, "Stop commenting on my body!" Poor Haley has been dealing with strangers--STRANGERS--coming up to her and labeling her "way too big" and telling her she'll "never make it" to her due date. I mean, do pregnant women go up to non-pregnant women and announce to them that they have double chins or that their butt looks big in those pants or they'll never make it to middle-aged because of those french fries they're eating? Seriously. How rude! (Go Stephanie Tanner.) And Haley is such a fabulous lady who is very healthy and an excellent mommy. Everyone carries their babies differently. Just deal, general public. Just deal. Tell the preggo ladies they look glowing and healthy and that you love their new green shirt. Or just smile and look at them like a person and not a mommy, just for a minute. It will make their day.
Check out Kristie's post today. It is about Schmolland. It's funny and sweet. And I love the "schma" thing. Started in college. Along with McGillicutty-isms such as Slutty McGillicutty. And then there were the Mc's A Lots like Hottie McHots A Lot. Gotta love college vernacular.
I heart you,
Schmerika, aka: the other lion
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Appetizing, huh? Dinner is the time of the day when I feel the most helpless. I don't know where to begin with teaching table manners. I suppose I should start with "stay in your seat." When that's conquered I move on to "don't stand on your chair." Then "don't spill your milk on purpose and then ask for more." And, "don't throw your food on the floor." Lastly, "don't take food out of your mouth after you've chewed it." Just think, if this is how bad the floor looks, imagine the appearance of the child who created the mess.
On a different note, Punkin likes people to copy him. Probably because people are always asking him to do stuff! So he'll say "dance" or "freeze" and expect everyone in the room to follow suit. Lately he's started saying "legs out" and then spreading his legs apart, sometimes to the point of falling over. It's pretty amusing. On vacation all of my relatives asked me, "why?" The official answer is, "I have no idea!" I even asked his teacher. She has no idea either. It's a mystery.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Girl: What dat say? Dat A?
Me: No. That's U. U, P."
Girl: You pee?
Me: U,P. They are letters. It spells up. U, P.
Girl: You pee? I pee? I pee in toilet!
Teacher in background: Snicker snicker snicker.
Cuddly little round 3 year old boy to the teacher: You da princess, I Shrek.
Same boy with teacher: You gettin' married?
Teacher: Ya, I'm getting married.
Boy: You marry me?
Teacher: No, I'm gonna marry Matt.
Boy: Oh. You marry me later?
Teacher to UP girl: Get your head out of the trash can! (Seriously. Her head was in the can and her butt was in the air.)
Me to same UP girl: Why are you standing on the toilet? Get off of the toilet!
Today, during our craft. I'm chatting away about something unimportant, and I decide to have a seat on one of our tables. "OH! OKAY! I sat in the paint!" It was yellow paint. I was wearing black pants. I had a bee butt cheek. It's okay. You can laugh.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Went to the genetics clinic and talked to them about the weird episodes I was calling night terrors. They are concerned he may actually be having seizures, so we are being referred to a neurologist. We are being referred to a behavior clinic as well.
My fab b-day present from Sarah. It says, "Alaska. A big moosesteak." HA! I am wearing this to all of my Pampered Chef shows.
Check out the new (to me) TV. I think that's Vanessa Williams. I don't know why she doesn't have any hair. Maybe to match the baby?
So....the only other exciting news is that someone backed into my car at work. But I do not feel awful or really upset, because the damage was really mild. And it dulls in comparison to the time some kids pushed my friend Sarah's car from her driveway into the street with their truck. (Is that how it went???) Anyway, the damage was extensive. I just have some paint missing and part of the bumper is loose. Plus the Toyota symbol fell out. I really wish it hadn't, cause a Toyota without a Toyota symbol looks silly. There's a big hole in the front. Anyway, the person backed into it and then drove away. But a co-worker got the plates, and I called the police. I filed a report with them and am waiting to hear back.
And the church newsletter is done, but the results were a bit deflating. So many things to learn!
But it's done! Whew! No big "moosesteaks"!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Exhibit B: The face of joy. Lots of swimming at the resort pool. Punkin loved the steps. "Sit." The resort was beautiful. The rooms were huge. I got one all to myself with Punkin. So spoiled.
Exhibit C: The face of "chill mode." My Aunt and Uncle have since given us the COOLEST present ever--a portable individual dvd player. Now we don't have to use my $1,000 computer to watch Elmo. Doesn't he look like an old man??? I love the belly.
Exhibit D: The face of FUN! Target had a Spiderman set--water swimmies, a ball, a boogie board, and goggles.
Exhibit E: The face of friendship and family. We have had the best time with all of my relatives. We are finally all together eating pizza, hot dogs, and italian beef. My b-day was the best. We went down to the resort restaurant and had cocktails, then went up to the atrium area and ate Portillos Italian Beef. Then we had YUM-EEE birthday cake and opened presents. I am blessed beyond words. I get to go buy a whole new wardrobe.
AND, I had a revelation. My cousin works at Nordstroms and was telling us all about the training they go through there to learn how to fit people for bras. Mine didn't fit correctly, so I decided to give it a try. I was very off. I was wearing a 34B. Apparently I am a 32 C. Oops. I am so much happier now that things fit the way they are supposed to and the girls are in the place God intended.
Oh, and the title--My cousins had pedicures. Apparently they didn't go as well as hoped. My one cousin had her feet soaking for an hour and then the lady didn't scrape all of the crusty stuff off. So now it feels like shredded wheat stuck on her feet.
And I will be suing Paris (as in Hilton) because I was in the shower at our Hilton resort when I closed the complementary shampoo and it squirted in my right eye. It burned. For two days.
And now I have wine and vodka cranberries waiting for me. Night y'all.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
As you can see, Little Man won the fight. The booster seat is retired, because technically he's tall enough and doesn't really need it. But look--he's just like a big kid! No special accessories, just dinner! Isn't he cute?
My brain hurts too much to blog. I had things to write about, but I can't remember them. It's a good thing we're going on vacation tomorrow. HOORAY! We're going to see my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and sister. I'm expecting lots of eating and swimming and wine consumption. And I can't wait to see Little Man with my cousin, 23 FX. I think they will be fighting over the TV.