Thursday, August 30, 2007


So back when I was pregnant I signed up at all these sites like, ect. to get free stuff. I remember reading about the program with Pampers, but I remember thinking I wouldn't use it. But maybe that's because for a while I always bought Luvs cause, you know, they're just as good and about $3 cheaper. But if I had a coupon I would totally buy the Pampers cause they smell good and they have cute Sesame Street guys on 'em. So anywhoo, now Punkin is 31 months old and he needs diapers that are stretchy, which apparently Luvs is developing, but doesn't have yet. So I have been buying Pampers every time. Anyway, I decided today to open one of my trillion e-mails from Pampers about their program because it was advertising a photo contest. And because Punkin is CLEARLY the most beautiful toddler that I know, I thought I should enter. Well, you have to use your points to enter. No big deal. How do I get points? Turns out all you have to do is enter the code from the diaper package and you rack up tons of points for toys and movies and books. I could have been earning anywhere from 1-14 points on each box of diapers I have bought since he was born 31 months ago!!!!!!!!! Seriously. Why do I not pay more attention to details?

My cousin told me today that she had a SCORPION in her apartment at college. Here I'm all freaked out about a dead spider in a pool over vacation and she has a SCORPION. But it reminded me of this kiddo I used to work with who was in love with all things nature related. But he also couldn't walk. So if he got out of his chair, he saw the ground. Makes sense that he liked bugs and snakes. Anyway, he was especially in love with scorpions. He and his friends were going to start a band called The Scorpion Kings and get matching tattoos. The tattoos would have to wait about 10 years, but no big deal. So one day we're in the nurse's office to get his meds and he tells the nurse he's going to get a tattoo--when he turns 18--and have my name written underneath it. Not my first name, my last name--Miss ______, cause that's what he called me.

So a polar bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a gin ....... and .......... tonic."
The bartender says, "Okay, but what's with the big pause?"
The polar bear holds up his paws, "I don't know, I was just born with 'em, I guess."

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

dop it! i no like dat! dop!

I feel like a big whiner right now. He keeps not following directions! The directions are: go to sleep. That's it. Simple one-stepper. WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT?!? My mom says it's payback. My mom is not very nice or very sympathetic sometimes. Like when she told me that cats smell bad so I couldn't have one. (Ah, I'm just teasing, Oma! Wouldn't wanna lose my spot as The Good Daughter.) But, for real, why must we fight so hard? He needs to sleep, I need him to sleep. Doesn't seem tricky to me.
In other news, I saw The Biggest Creepy-Crawliest Spider Ever in our PK room today. Good thing Katie was there to smoosh him.
Also, 49 days until I see Boo, Lion, Dorok, and Birkel for The Big Day when someone who shall remain anyonymous will no longer be a Birkel. EEEKKK!
AND, I am definitely doing the church newsletter thing again. Good times. ("Good Times, Great Oldies, Kool 101.3!" I can't help it. It's a disEASE! Always have to tie it back to a commercial.)
Gonna hafta get the ice cream now.
MMMM. Moose Tracks. Mini Peanut Butter Cups. Chocolate swirls. Right out of the carton with an oversized spoon cause I'm a lady and that's how we ladies operate.
Guess what I'm watching, Jennie. Lemmie give ya a hint: Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH. In the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups.... Don't know? Should I call you and sing it to you? Maybe that will help you remember. Definitely should sing it to you.
The ice cream is gone. (pouts)
Am I actually talking about anything? I won't be winning any literary awards tonight, that's for sure.
OOOHH--I learned a new word playing Crickler. Pecuniary. Having to do with money. I guess a little computer time can make you smarter.
And, get this. Little Man said, "I want you, Mom" loud and clear. AAAAHHHHHHH! Of course today he said, "Doo too too, Mom."
He looks so sweet when he's sleeping.

Monday, August 27, 2007

one down, one to go

This fly has been one of a pair buzzing around my teensy apartment for 2 weeks. He must have been exhausted watching Punkin race around and decided to take an extended rest. And now, me 1, fly 0. Now for his friend........ My parents used to have an electric fly swatter. It was the coolest thing ever. BBZZZAAAPPP! No more bug.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

back and forth

I have been going back and forth for days about which room Punkin should be in. As soon as I decide to take a chance and do the full integration, I picture him attempting activities with the 3-5s and decide I'm crazy. It's laughable, Schmerika, really. Ridiculous. How could you THINK of such a thing? There's NO WAY that will be successful. You're nuts. I mean, they break the 18 kids into 3 small groups and have them working simultaneously at 3 stations. Hello hyperarousal?!?! The teacher would have to modify EVERYTHING for him. Not just the curriculum, but he would essentially have to have his own schedule in order to avoid chronic meltdowns. In the other room, there are more likely going to be kids and his same developmental/academic level as well as kids above and below him. So fitting him in and addressing his needs would be easier. In fact, they probably do a lot of it already. And with the same number of staff but fewer kids, it would be easier to work with him independently if needed.
So Saturday I had decided that, yes, I do want him in the smaller, self-contained room with integrated time at recess and for large group. Large group is where they sit at the table and paint, cut, color, make yummy treats, ect. That way he can see how the other kids attend to a task, and he can get some exposure to a bigger, busier classroom setting, but with a lot of structure and for a workable amount of time. Then by the time he's four (or sooner if appropriate) he can be do full inclusion.
But I still keep thinking to myself that maybe I'm just being overprotective. Maybe I am underestimating Punkin's ability to adapt. Maybe I'm just scared of change. He's been with all typical kids until now. Maybe he should continue. But the expectations for infants and twos are remarkably different than the 3-5s. And again the shear number of children is overwhelming. AHHH! Here I go again.......

In other news: Accepting Applications. Inquire Within. I've decided that I need a wingman or wingwoman. A wingperson. Someone that I can look at with an exhausted face and say, "It's SO your turn to put him back in bed! I've had enough!" Do you think I'm tired today? =)

I played Wii on Friday night. So fun. I was totally boxing with my friend Laura. Not that I even know how to throw a punch, but whatever. We had a good bout. She eventually won. Then we did bowling. Just as fun as the real thing but without the ugly, slippery shoes and germs.

I was reading Kristie's blog about Blake and his Woody doll when I realized I never told everyone about the cool Uncle Bill story. So when we were on vacation in Chicago, we went to visit my Great Uncle Bill in the nursing home. He is 81 and has fragile x. He is quite healthy and active. He plays records for the other patients and was even deemed their mayor. He was one of two people I saw who shut and locked the door to his room. He told me once that he didn't want people stealing his M&Ms. He and Punkin like each other a lot. They repeat phrases back and forth. Uncle Bill likes the "That's mine. That's all mine." game. Punkin understands and appreciates. It made me a little uneasy at Christmas time when I was little because I thought he was serious. Anyway, were about to leave and he turned around and grabbed a mini Woody doll out of his dresser drawer for Punkin--who was beyond thrilled. "Woody! Woody!" But Uncle Bill had never been told that Punkin liked Woody. He just remembered that he had a toy and wanted to share. And it just happened to be Punkin's favorite! (God works in all things for the good of those who love Him....)

Now it's time to clean the apartment. Little Man is asleep so I can clean up his mess from lunch. This time it was an accident, though. He was being a good boy and trying to take his plate to the sink and spilled it.

OOOHHHH--Almost forgot! He has been asking to go potty more and more often--and he goes! Very exciting. I will spare you any more potty talk.

Q: What's green and has three wheels?
A: Grass. I was just kidding about the three wheels.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

to integrate or not to integrate, that is the question

Actually, I probably will have Punkin in an integrated preschool room. I guess I had just always assumed that because of his behavioral needs that a self-contained room would be better. There are 18 kids in the integrated room (mostly typically developing kids ages 3-5) and only 10 in the self-contained (all special needs kids). And for the kid who only has about 5 kids in his room now, 18 seemed like a BIG jump. I know that the integrated rooms offer better peer role models for social skills and language development. It's just that the self-contained already use signs, pictures, and other modifications for their kids. They have the appropriately-leveled materials he needs. They already adapt the cirriculumn for reading and math. They have a better child-to-teacher ratio. And my Punkin, who has the play skills of MAYBE a one-year-old, cannot play next to a 3-year-old. And how can he do the same small groups as them? I guess there will be other kids who don't know their colors. But he can't even do a puzzle or a shape sorter or a ring stacker! So many mixed feelings. But I think what I have come to decide is that he can be in an integrated room provided the following: he goes to the self-contained room for center (play) time, the teacher and aides are committed to using signs and pictures, and he is provided with sensory breaks throughout the day. What do you think?
I am afraid to type because every time I do, he gets out of bed! It is too late for little Punkin's to be getting out of their beds. Some nights he puts himself to bed and other nights the mattress is like a giant spring that just keeps shooting him back into the living room.
Nothing else is new. I am wearing one of my new shirts, which is a little more revealing than I originally thought. Whoo-hoo! Actually not so much "whoo-hoo" and a little more "oh my." It's easy to be accidentally immodest when Little Man is so rambunctious.
And now, an elephant joke:
Q: Why are elephants big, gray, and wrinkly?
A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth, they would be aspirin!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

meanwhile i am sweating like a man

I got a lesson in good manners today. Little Man was in his carseat eating some Goldfish crackers. I asked him, "Can I have one?" He took one (out of his mouth) and held it by his face. "Peaz." I conceded, "please." He gave me the fish. Seriously. How cool is that? He totally took something that his teacher and I do with him every day and turned the tables on us. He applied an old concept in a new way. Other times when I have said, "Can I have one please?" he has just repeated "please" and kept eating. We are moving forward! Sometimes it seems slow, but we are moving.

My mom talked me into going to an LWML picnic tonight. Even though it is 125 degrees outside with 93 percent humidity (or something). I even brought our "dish to pass." Okay, I bought some noodle salad at the grocery store and put some cheese slices on a platter with some crackers. Did I mention it was HOT today? So we went to this little park. Punkin attacked the slide right away. Then came the disaster that was dinner. Let's just say MY pants are now sitting with detergent on them, and he went home shirtless. Speghetti sauce everywhere. He turned his lemonade cup upside down and shook it all over both of us. I think that was the real low point. Did I mention it was a little WARM outside during this fiasco? Oh, and I never told you about the gross-out diaper I had to change in the sweltering HEAT. We went home early.

Today was "cry and hit myself in the head whenever anybody requests anything of me" day. I HATE that day. It's a little annoying. Walking, dressing, undressing, waiting, sitting, standing, sitting on the potty--I'm just too demanding! Today was also, "make mommy tear up" day. Cause not only did he teach me to say please, but he spontaneously said, "bye mom!" when I dropped him off at school. Two words together is big. Two understandable words is bigger. Two words where one of them is mom just makes me melt.

On a completely different note, I need to speak out for pregnant women everywhere and say, "Stop commenting on my body!" Poor Haley has been dealing with strangers--STRANGERS--coming up to her and labeling her "way too big" and telling her she'll "never make it" to her due date. I mean, do pregnant women go up to non-pregnant women and announce to them that they have double chins or that their butt looks big in those pants or they'll never make it to middle-aged because of those french fries they're eating? Seriously. How rude! (Go Stephanie Tanner.) And Haley is such a fabulous lady who is very healthy and an excellent mommy. Everyone carries their babies differently. Just deal, general public. Just deal. Tell the preggo ladies they look glowing and healthy and that you love their new green shirt. Or just smile and look at them like a person and not a mommy, just for a minute. It will make their day.

Check out Kristie's post today. It is about Schmolland. It's funny and sweet. And I love the "schma" thing. Started in college. Along with McGillicutty-isms such as Slutty McGillicutty. And then there were the Mc's A Lots like Hottie McHots A Lot. Gotta love college vernacular.
I heart you,
Schmerika, aka: the other lion

Sunday, August 19, 2007

wanna come over for dinner?

Appetizing, huh? Dinner is the time of the day when I feel the most helpless. I don't know where to begin with teaching table manners. I suppose I should start with "stay in your seat." When that's conquered I move on to "don't stand on your chair." Then "don't spill your milk on purpose and then ask for more." And, "don't throw your food on the floor." Lastly, "don't take food out of your mouth after you've chewed it." Just think, if this is how bad the floor looks, imagine the appearance of the child who created the mess.

On a different note, Punkin likes people to copy him. Probably because people are always asking him to do stuff! So he'll say "dance" or "freeze" and expect everyone in the room to follow suit. Lately he's started saying "legs out" and then spreading his legs apart, sometimes to the point of falling over. It's pretty amusing. On vacation all of my relatives asked me, "why?" The official answer is, "I have no idea!" I even asked his teacher. She has no idea either. It's a mystery.

Friday, August 17, 2007

preschool funnies

Me with 3 year-old girl in the bathroom during potty-training. There is a sign above the toilet that says UP and has an arrow pointing up, reminding the boys to lift the seat before they pee.
Girl: What dat say? Dat A?
Me: No. That's U. U, P."
Girl: You pee?
Me: U,P. They are letters. It spells up. U, P.
Girl: You pee? I pee? I pee in toilet!
Teacher in background: Snicker snicker snicker.

Cuddly little round 3 year old boy to the teacher: You da princess, I Shrek.

Same boy with teacher: You gettin' married?
Teacher: Ya, I'm getting married.
Boy: You marry me?
Teacher: No, I'm gonna marry Matt.
Boy: Oh. You marry me later?

Teacher to UP girl: Get your head out of the trash can! (Seriously. Her head was in the can and her butt was in the air.)

Me to same UP girl: Why are you standing on the toilet? Get off of the toilet!

Today, during our craft. I'm chatting away about something unimportant, and I decide to have a seat on one of our tables. "OH! OKAY! I sat in the paint!" It was yellow paint. I was wearing black pants. I had a bee butt cheek. It's okay. You can laugh.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

a bunch o' stuff

We love the stroller --it's wheels, in particular. We love pushing the stroller fast as we run away from mommy in the parking lot. We love pushing the stroller into furniture and the walls. We love pushing the stroller up to the front door, opening the front door, and blasting off in the general direction of mommy's car. The love for the stroller is so strong, in fact, that up until this point, nothing--not even the esteemed Ducky--was actually permitted to sit in the stroller. If any attempt was made to "take baby for a walk," baby was promptly picked up by her skull with one hand and chucked across the room. "No!" OOOKAAYYY. Sorry. And then, as evidenced by the above picture, he decided, "It's time I stopped this foolishness about riding in the stroller. It's much more efficient to push the stroller with my beloved Woody doll inside of it than to struggle to bring both toys out to the car. Or, heaven forbid, leave one of them at home. I'll just take Woody and place him gently in the seat so I can take him for a nice jaunt." RANDOM. But a big step in play skills. Go Punkin! He's looking at his shadow. He follows his shadow everywhere it goes. He bends down to admire his shadow. He even chases his shadow in circles. Woody must like his shadow, too.
Went to the genetics clinic and talked to them about the weird episodes I was calling night terrors. They are concerned he may actually be having seizures, so we are being referred to a neurologist. We are being referred to a behavior clinic as well.
My fab b-day present from Sarah. It says, "Alaska. A big moosesteak." HA! I am wearing this to all of my Pampered Chef shows.
Check out the new (to me) TV. I think that's Vanessa Williams. I don't know why she doesn't have any hair. Maybe to match the baby?

So....the only other exciting news is that someone backed into my car at work. But I do not feel awful or really upset, because the damage was really mild. And it dulls in comparison to the time some kids pushed my friend Sarah's car from her driveway into the street with their truck. (Is that how it went???) Anyway, the damage was extensive. I just have some paint missing and part of the bumper is loose. Plus the Toyota symbol fell out. I really wish it hadn't, cause a Toyota without a Toyota symbol looks silly. There's a big hole in the front. Anyway, the person backed into it and then drove away. But a co-worker got the plates, and I called the police. I filed a report with them and am waiting to hear back.

And the church newsletter is done, but the results were a bit deflating. So many things to learn!
But it's done! Whew! No big "moosesteaks"!

Friday, August 10, 2007

it's like shredded wheat on my feet and why i am going to sue paris herself

Exhibit A: The face of a monster. This eight-legged creature was lying in wait at the bottom of the baby pool at my grandparent's complex. I tried to be brave and use Punkin's water shoe to scoop him up, but every time I got close I flipped out and the spider--dead though he was--jumped five feet away. Finally my cousin grabbed a net from the lifeguard and rescued us all from his dead claws...err....spindly legs. Yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck. Looks like a big hairball. My two biggest gross outs--spider legs and hairballs.

Exhibit B: The face of joy. Lots of swimming at the resort pool. Punkin loved the steps. "Sit." The resort was beautiful. The rooms were huge. I got one all to myself with Punkin. So spoiled.
Exhibit C: The face of "chill mode." My Aunt and Uncle have since given us the COOLEST present ever--a portable individual dvd player. Now we don't have to use my $1,000 computer to watch Elmo. Doesn't he look like an old man??? I love the belly.
Exhibit D: The face of FUN! Target had a Spiderman set--water swimmies, a ball, a boogie board, and goggles.
Exhibit E: The face of friendship and family. We have had the best time with all of my relatives. We are finally all together eating pizza, hot dogs, and italian beef. My b-day was the best. We went down to the resort restaurant and had cocktails, then went up to the atrium area and ate Portillos Italian Beef. Then we had YUM-EEE birthday cake and opened presents. I am blessed beyond words. I get to go buy a whole new wardrobe.

AND, I had a revelation. My cousin works at Nordstroms and was telling us all about the training they go through there to learn how to fit people for bras. Mine didn't fit correctly, so I decided to give it a try. I was very off. I was wearing a 34B. Apparently I am a 32 C. Oops. I am so much happier now that things fit the way they are supposed to and the girls are in the place God intended.

Oh, and the title--My cousins had pedicures. Apparently they didn't go as well as hoped. My one cousin had her feet soaking for an hour and then the lady didn't scrape all of the crusty stuff off. So now it feels like shredded wheat stuck on her feet.

And I will be suing Paris (as in Hilton) because I was in the shower at our Hilton resort when I closed the complementary shampoo and it squirted in my right eye. It burned. For two days.

And now I have wine and vodka cranberries waiting for me. Night y'all.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

can't say i miss the preschoolers

I wish I had video of a few things. First, me and Punkin jumping on the huge trampoline in my aunt and uncle's backyard. Limbs were flying, hair was a mess, lots of giggling. I would start jumping on it while both of us were standing, and then he would of course fall down right away, so I would jump up and land on my butt so we'd both go flying. So funny.
Second, Punkin's reaction to all of the people who arrived yesterday. He was c-r-a-z-y! Running in circles, throwing his sippy cup, laughing, playing peek-a-boo, climbing on the couch, sitting at the table and taking exactly one bite of food, yelling "Woody! Woody!" and "Ball! Ball!" He was nuts. He asked to go to bed two times --and I put him to bed--but he was so gosh darn worried about all the people and the movies and the food--that he kept getting up. Finally at about 8:30 he lost all his steam and gave up.

And I guess that's the third thing I'd love you to see--his reaction when he sees his bed at the end of a long day. He makes the "o" face and just falls into the pillow. With Ducky carefully laid out on top of the orange triangle so that his little chubby cheek can rest on it. (Miss him, much, Oma???)

Which leads me to another important discovery: One does not need to bring the entire pillow, only the extra special pillow case. At least while he's young, I can get away with this bit of trickery.


Oh, so of course the Age of Love guy chose the 25 year old. I didn't watch it, but a little birdie told me. Not shocked.

I guess I didn't explain that I am at my aunt and uncles for a big ol' family reunion. I've been here a couple days, but everybody else came yesterday. And today we are headed to a resort for some serious relaxation. There's mini-golf! Little Man's taking a nap--3 hours yesterday! Best toddler ever! Here's some pics to make you jealous. =)

Thursday, August 2, 2007

bring on the swimming pool and the sunshine

I will not sit in that baby chair. Noooo. Uh uh. That is a blue baby chair with baby straps and I refuse to even go near it. It's bad enough you're trying to feed me chicken and vegetables, but top that with the insufferable booster seat? I shall scream and cry and say, "No. No. No." and refuse to even drink my milk or eat peaches even though they are my favorite.
As you can see, Little Man won the fight. The booster seat is retired, because technically he's tall enough and doesn't really need it. But look--he's just like a big kid! No special accessories, just dinner! Isn't he cute?
My brain hurts too much to blog. I had things to write about, but I can't remember them. It's a good thing we're going on vacation tomorrow. HOORAY! We're going to see my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and sister. I'm expecting lots of eating and swimming and wine consumption. And I can't wait to see Little Man with my cousin, 23 FX. I think they will be fighting over the TV.