Monday, August 4, 2008

aaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk

I applied for a job and landed an interview! This, of course, is happy news both because it is the possibility of more money and because I would actually be using the degree I spent four years earning. When it comes time to consider the potential changes that would occur as a result of accepting a new job (which I realize I have not even been offered), I start getting a yucky feeling in my tummy and a flood of doubts. This is otherwise known as anxiety. I know, and I will, push it aside and move forward. In that effort, I need to hash out why this potential change freaks me out, regardless of how much I really want it to happen. See, it would mean that Punkin would need after school care. This scares me to pieces. Do I keep him at his current school with some of the kids and people he knows, or do I have him ride the bus to a different program down the street from our apartment? Okay, writing that sentence made the decision so obvious. I go visit the other center and then follow my gut. Why consider moving him? Mostly for convenience. I could either drop him off at school in the morning or put him on the bus* and then he could ride the bus from the preschool program to the after care place. And then I could pick him up at the after care place on my way home. That idea FREAKS me out. MY little Punkin on a BUS.* AND, AND at the completion of said bus* ride, his MOM does NOT retrieve him, but rather a DAYCARE WORKER. Eeek. See? SEE? I am considering traumatizing my BABY every day for the sake of a 20 minute drive. Clearly I am delusional.

*It is not actually a bus, it is a large white van complete with car seats, air conditioning, heat, and usually nice drivers. But still. A BUS.

In poop news, which I know you all have been missing the past few days, the pineapple seems to be the culprit. What a sad state. One of our favorite fruits. Sigh.

5 comments:

Kristiem10 said...

Congrats on the interview! I totally understand. I am starting my new job in a couple weeks and I am freaking out. Blake will have to go to the sitter, who is our next-door neighbor, and she will put him on the bus. I am not too worried about the bus, because he's been riding it since he was three. And he has always loved the bus. Good luck on your interview!

Laura said...

Don't freak out yet, lion. Things happen in their time. One step at a time. I know, I sound like that obnoxious person whose advice doesn't actually help. But after years of making things too difficult for myself, I'm starting to realize that a "moment by moment" approach really CAN help me. AND, I am SO EXCITED for your interview!

Jennie said...

CONGRAGULATIONS!!!!! Yaay using degree! Sorry I missed you - I was having anxiety of my own. You will do great, and then you will go from there. You don't have to write the whole paper in one sentence - just take it one thing at a time. LOVE YOU!!!!!

Jen said...

Good luck with the interview!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the interview! I hope it goes well.
Totally understand the "bus" thing. I had to put Robert on one just a week after he started school. It was a real school bus though. Didn't have much of a choice since I had just come home from the hospital with Megan and school was far from home. Poor guy was on it FOREVER. He cried for three months non stop because of the whole trauma of going to school, bus, new people. Not fun!
Too bad about the pineapple. :(