So Creepy Guy once said something to the effect of, "I got ridda her [mystery girlfriend who gave him a watch from Avon that he thought was super expensive). She had three beers in my apartment and was all and I got ridda her." He then went on about being Mormon or something.
Naturally I filed this information away as a helpful hint for turning him off. My friend Tall Guy suggested I answer the door with a beer (or four) and see what happened.
So I hear his familiar "knock KNock KNOCK knock" and zip by the fridge to grab a Bud Lite. The same Bud Lite I bought in February for a party. Chances were high I wouldn't actually attempt to drink the now stale beverage.
"Aww, Erika. Godda drink Miller."
GAHHHHHHHHJHHHHHNHNHJJK!!!! Does NOTHING WORK????
That's all he could talk about. I even cracked it open and took some swigs (not that bad). He asked if I like Icehouse and I lied and said I used to drink it in high school which is not true I never even left the house in high school I just wanted to make myself seem yucky because he keeps talking about church but
BUT now I see. He just says whatever floats to the top of his brain. He can't keep it straight one minute to the next.
"They raise your rent yet?"
"My lease isn't up until October."
"Last couple times they just raised it about 10 bucks."
"That's what they say anyway. My neighbor took 'em to court they raised his rent didn't even tell him. He lost though."
"Your neighbor here?"
"Ya, below me."
"They didn't warn him?"
"Ya, they did."
"Well, that's telling him. That's notice."
"Ya, he's a little (swirls finger around temple in 'crazy' motion)."
Then he showed me his battle scar from working at a restaurant in town. (Note to self: don't eat there.) He said I could work for him on Monday. I said he could work with the preschoolers. He said, "Kids aren't bad, though."
"No, I like them."
"Just gotta know how to treat them. Like my cat."
RIIIGGGHHHT. "I need to go clean and go to bed. Bye."