Wednesday, August 20, 2008

stupid grownups

i can't move. i just can't. i made some fairly irresponsible decisions a few months ago and am literally paying for it. i just can't stretch my budget that tight. IF i got child support every month. IF i made money selling pampered chef every month. then maybe, but even now i'd have to consider giving up cable and eating out and i'd still be pinched tight. so i guess i will stay put pending the arrival of a new job. my lease isn't up until the end of october, so you never know. and this way i will be comfortable and be able to afford full coverage for my car and keep some of those things that make me feel like a woman and not just a mommy (like my friday nights). i think what i really am aching for is change of some sort. serious change, though, not just a haircut or something.

at the inservice yesterday i could feel that all too familiar fire burning inside me. and no, it wasn't my acid reflux. it was passion. about fragile x/autism -- raising awareness and DOING something about it. at the inservice i was sitting next to punkin's teacher and telling her that if the speaker mentioned fragile x i would bring her chocolate the next day. (neither of us expected a hershey bar on her desk the next morning.) basically she said, "there's your job! work for her!" and i gotta say i would love it. it was nice to hear someone else say what i've been too timid to admit. i want to be an advocate/consultant. and i want to make a living doing it. so how do you get there? good question, right? feels kinda good to write it out loud, though.

BLECH being grown up!


Maddy said...

Well there's an offer you can't refuse!
Best wishes

Landon Andrew said...

Girl, I am proud of you! Keep us posted!

Jennie said...

Ohhh, Baby, I'm sorry that you can't do the move right now. But maybe that new apartment is completely infested with killer death spider vampire bat pirahnas! Or an even CREEPIER dude. *shiver*

I hope that you can find a way to shout about FX from the rooftops and make enough money to be safe and comfy. Break a leg!

Laura said...

start by writing that woman an email and saying what you just wrote!!

Umma said...

You have figured out the very hardest part...what you WANT TO DO. The rest is so much easier, in my experience.

In my state there is a group that runs advocacy training programs and offers internships to gain experience. Check to see what your state has.

Also, Wrightslaw mentioned this interesting program you might want to check out.