i can't move. i just can't. i made some fairly irresponsible decisions a few months ago and am literally paying for it. i just can't stretch my budget that tight. IF i got child support every month. IF i made money selling pampered chef every month. then maybe, but even now i'd have to consider giving up cable and eating out and i'd still be pinched tight. so i guess i will stay put pending the arrival of a new job. my lease isn't up until the end of october, so you never know. and this way i will be comfortable and be able to afford full coverage for my car and keep some of those things that make me feel like a woman and not just a mommy (like my friday nights). i think what i really am aching for is change of some sort. serious change, though, not just a haircut or something.
at the inservice yesterday i could feel that all too familiar fire burning inside me. and no, it wasn't my acid reflux. it was passion. about fragile x/autism -- raising awareness and DOING something about it. at the inservice i was sitting next to punkin's teacher and telling her that if the speaker mentioned fragile x i would bring her chocolate the next day. (neither of us expected a hershey bar on her desk the next morning.) basically she said, "there's your job! work for her!" and i gotta say i would love it. it was nice to hear someone else say what i've been too timid to admit. i want to be an advocate/consultant. and i want to make a living doing it. so how do you get there? good question, right? feels kinda good to write it out loud, though.
BLECH being grown up!