1. As I walked up to my building Wednesday afternoon, the maintenance man pops his head out at me from the basement apartment (they must be gutting that place), "I got your new faucet and disposal all finished. Even put in a sprayer for ya." Sweet, I thought, as I walked in to check it out. Well, I have a new stainless steel faucet and white sprayer, but I also have a hole where the old faucet used to sit. I just laughed.
2. Every year the grocery store near my house is invaded by giant inflatable Halloween decorations, most of which are cute as well as obnoxious. One, however, that sits atop the frozen food aisle, is a downright ugly depiction of Frankenstein's monster. At first Punkin wouldn't even go down the aisle. "No monster. No monster." But I assured him it was okay. Over the next few visits he became less fearful and began repeating me, "No hurt you." So what does my son shout from across the store yesterday when he sees it? "MONKEY! DER HE IS! MONKEY!"
3. I snuck into Punkin's room earlier tonight while he was sleeping to put his laundry away and felt something cold under my toe. I picked it up but couldn't figure out what it was; it felt like chewed up food. As I walked back into the light of the hallway, I looked down and discovered that I was holding a turd. Punkin pooped his pants earlier because he's apparently forgotten that he's potty-trained and as he walked to the bathroom for a change it must have fallen out. A turd.