Saturday, May 28, 2011

puppy love

Punkin has a girl in his class who was also in preschool with him, so they've known each other for several years. They tend to fight like siblings. For example, in preschool he gave us a dirty look when she sat on my lap during the before school program and then later, when we all gathered on the carpet, he smacked her out of spite. This year they've had moments of doting on one another; his former aid walked in once and saw them laying on bean bag chairs, sharing his blanket, her stroking his hair. (They were watching TV Teacher videos, FYI, not taking a siesta.)

So anyway, I was talking to his teacher yesterday when I picked him up from school and he and his friend were sharing a computer. Punkin had his arm around her and his teacher was starting to say something about next year when Punkin looked at his friend, "Kiss?" She turned her head to him, they kissed, and then went back to playing their game.

"Ya, that started a few days ago. Punkin, no kissing. One day she doesn't want anything to do with him, the next they're doing this."

His aid made a comment about grandchildren, and I told her I have enough problems. I am glad he has a friend. And if he'd like to kiss her when he's a little older, that's fine, but right now we may have to make up a social story for school and kissing. "I give my friends hugs and high fives. I always ask before I touch a friend. I can kiss my mom." Awesome.

Monday, May 16, 2011

when it's right in front of your face

So I'm vacuuming today, thinking about how awesome it is that Punkin asked for Frosted Flakes, flipped out and dumped them in the sink, asked for popcorn, and then flipped out again and threw it, confetti-style, all over the living room for the second time this week when I make one of the single most important realizations of my adult life.

But first let me remind you of something.

I wrote on in March of 2010, "The most confusing part is that when he's shaking the strips of paper in front of his face and barking, and I ask him what the papers are, 8 out of 10 times he says, 'shark.'"

Anyway, I can hear Curious George playing in the background as I vacuum. In the new episodes George lives both in the city and the country. When he's in the city, he hangs out with two kids who have a very energetic dog. As I'm cleaning, it occurs to me, "Since we've been watching George again he's been barking more. I wonder if that's where he got it in the first place. I mean, we've been watching George for a long time. Huh. And that dog Sharkie sure does bark .... SHARKIE. He's a dog. Named Sharkie. I'm an idiot."


Saturday, May 14, 2011

some people's kids

On Wednesday night before bed, after Punkin and I finished playing "letters" and reading "Peg the Hen" 26 times, he asked for the red parachute. Since to the best of my knowledge we don't own a parachute, I asked him to show me.

He ran out to the laundry basket and grabbed a red fitted sheet for his bed. "That does look like a parachute. It's called a sheet." He dragged it to his room and asked me to put it on his bed. Since I had just changed his sheets the day before, I said, "No, not today. We'll keep blue on."

"NO! Red!"

"Not today."

"NOT ODAY!" He then flopped on the floor, I wrestled him into his pajamas, and kissed him goodnight.

A few minutes later I heard, "MOM! MOM! WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

"What, Punkin?"

"What happened, Mom? Wook!" He stood, completely nude, on his bed, right arm outstretched to navigate me towards the offending wet spot.

"You peed on your bed. You peed on your bed to get red sheets."

"OH NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! A MESS!" So, naturally, I took the sheets off, went to the closet, and got out some beautiful flowered sheets. He argued, "No, red. Red, Mommy."

"Nope. Not today."

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

that look? it's an impending sugar high

Punkin talks about ice cream a lot, but he hasn't really eaten it since he was about two years old when he was coming down from being sedated after an MRI. It was one of those "too intoxicated to care" situations, not unlike the time I ate a sandwich with Thousand Island dressing on it and gushed about how it was the most amazing taste sensation I had ever experienced in my 21 years.

Anyway, ice cream. Today, after I bought him a bag of Skittles (aka jellybeans) , I treated myself to an Oreo shake. He insisted on a chocolate cone for himself. "Brown." I bought him one with little hope he would eat it and to my surprise he ate it right away -- and stole mine!

Monday, May 9, 2011

cartoon meets real life

Punkin took one look at this at the park on Saturday and yelled, "BEHOLD!"

"Yes, Punkin. it does look like one of Doofenschmirtz's innators. It totally does."

Sunday, May 8, 2011

rules to live by

We don't have many rules in our house. Well, I don't have many rules in our house: don't dig in the garbage, don't sit on the glass coffee table, don't pull on the curtains, only eat one small bowl of jelly beans at a time, don't go outside without an adult, no barking, and Number 1 and Number 2 go in the potty if at all possible please.

Punkin, on the other hand, has many, many rules and is becoming increasingly rigid. Here are the most pressing rules as of late:

1. The lights are to be off at all times unless he deems it suitable for one -- and only one -- lamp to be turned on for a brief period of time. I have yet to figure out when these times are, but he will let you know if it isn't okay.

2. The curtains must be closed. Yes, we live like hobbits.

3. All bedding is to be arranged in a certain order and with a certain side facing up. Didn't guess it right? He'll let you know. "DIS WAY!" Puppies and sharks are to be dutifully tucked in alongside him.

4. He needs a drink of water before bed. You gave him one already in anticipation of this need? Well, he needs one again, and make it snappy or the curtains are going bye-bye.

5. The doors must be shut at all times. Will a character from Monsters Inc pop out? Will the heat or air conditioning system become too efficient? I don't know. Only he does.

6. Additionally, it may appear to all other diners that his supply of ketchup, mayo, mustard, or salsa is satisfactory, but it is in fact depleted. If the plate is visible, he needs a refill ASAP pleaseandthankyou. You don't want to refill it? Well then he is done eating.

7. The remote has a home. Put it there. The end. (This is actually helpful to me as I have not lost the remote once in the last month.)

8. One straw is not sufficient. Three is satisfactory. Ten or more is preferred. They make awesome toys.

9. If there's a computer, it'd better be open to Starfall so he can do "letters."

10. Everything is better in pairs.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

all kid all the time

I can't be the only one who lets my kid play in the dirt with a ketchup-stained face and torn jeans. I mean, the straws had to go night-night somewhere. And no, we could not be bothered to clean up first. This was very pressing business.