Sunday, May 8, 2011

rules to live by

We don't have many rules in our house. Well, I don't have many rules in our house: don't dig in the garbage, don't sit on the glass coffee table, don't pull on the curtains, only eat one small bowl of jelly beans at a time, don't go outside without an adult, no barking, and Number 1 and Number 2 go in the potty if at all possible please.

Punkin, on the other hand, has many, many rules and is becoming increasingly rigid. Here are the most pressing rules as of late:

1. The lights are to be off at all times unless he deems it suitable for one -- and only one -- lamp to be turned on for a brief period of time. I have yet to figure out when these times are, but he will let you know if it isn't okay.

2. The curtains must be closed. Yes, we live like hobbits.

3. All bedding is to be arranged in a certain order and with a certain side facing up. Didn't guess it right? He'll let you know. "DIS WAY!" Puppies and sharks are to be dutifully tucked in alongside him.

4. He needs a drink of water before bed. You gave him one already in anticipation of this need? Well, he needs one again, and make it snappy or the curtains are going bye-bye.

5. The doors must be shut at all times. Will a character from Monsters Inc pop out? Will the heat or air conditioning system become too efficient? I don't know. Only he does.

6. Additionally, it may appear to all other diners that his supply of ketchup, mayo, mustard, or salsa is satisfactory, but it is in fact depleted. If the plate is visible, he needs a refill ASAP pleaseandthankyou. You don't want to refill it? Well then he is done eating.

7. The remote has a home. Put it there. The end. (This is actually helpful to me as I have not lost the remote once in the last month.)

8. One straw is not sufficient. Three is satisfactory. Ten or more is preferred. They make awesome toys.

9. If there's a computer, it'd better be open to Starfall so he can do "letters."

10. Everything is better in pairs.


Jennie said...

Awww, he helps keep you from losing the remote!!!!

Kristiem10 said...

The curtians! OMG. I'd have sat down and cried! And I LOL'd at Jennie's comment.

Bonnie@TheFragileXFiles said...

We have many of those same rules here at our house. The boys are strict enforcers. and OMG, the curtains...... ;-)

Umma said...

Some of these rules sound very, very familiar! Everything has a home and *must* be put away. If he can't do it (too short) he will chant "Away! Away! Awayyy!" until someone obeys.

He is sometimes allowed to break this rule...for example putting my iPhone in his dirty laundry instead of next to the charger or, you know, anywhere else I might find it.

Umma said...

Forgot...our condiment of choice is honey mustard. It must be available for every meal. All the biggest foodies know that everything is better dipped in honey mustard!

Sue said...

I was sure Alex with his rules would turn into a neat and tidy adult. Wrong! As long as his pillowcase is the right way up the rest of his room can be a rubbish tip.

Thankfully though he internalised ours and his rules about behavior and right and wrong in areas that matter.